I have had Manic episodes and have done things I'm not proud of when i went off my meds...(never cheated on him nothing like that)..i am on my meds now.... for the most part I'm fine....stable..but i do have bouts of depression.....My boyfriend nags me everyday about housework.....that sometimes i sleep all day and stay up all night.....a lot of times i stay up because its a peaceful time without his nagging and bitching.....sometimes when i stay up to late i can't take my Ambien because i won't wake up to get my oldest off to school..... then i fall back asleep .... sometimes im so tired and an't bring myself out of bed to attend to my little one so i put him in front of the tv and give him some pop tarts.....sometimes im in bed for days drifting on and off in and out of sleep......when i do do well cleaning...being awake....attending to what i am supposed to....he doesn't give me any credit....i have been feeling like a child seeking approval....he thinks i an just snap out of it......but when he goes on his rants about what i dont do....or im a bad mother....i sink back into a depression....he says im just lazy....but most of the time i just have no energy to do anything.....i will come on the computer to and try and zone from his negativaty......he says "get your *** off the computer and tend to your kids"...(note...they are not neglected when im online they are either in here with me playing....or in the other part of the house doing their own thing)....again labeling me a bad .....he has been making me feel like a child....labeling me a bad mother..... he says if i'd just do the things he wants me to do then he'll be in a happier mood.....he has sometimes left me notes telling me what he wants done when he wakes up at 2-3pm ( he's bartender ... he works 4 days a week...tuesday and thursday he is home by 1:30am.... friday is his late night ...home about 330-4am....sunday he opens and works til 530pm......he throws inmy face that he works and i dont.....i am on disability due to my condition.....i bring in an income and pay him 1000/ month ... our rent is 1100 ......there have been times when i hadnt got my check and he had to cover the bills.....and i still hear about that.....200 of the thousand goes to paying him back for those times....sometimes when he goes into his rants i get so angry at him i start cursing (which i normally dont curse).......im not trying to have a pity party....im just laying the scenario out as it is ..... today was another episode.... i had a couple days before where i was depressed and in bed most the time.....today i got up at 650am ... got my son off to school... came home made my little one breakfast and cleaned the kitchen.... my little one starting crying beause i turned the tv off til he finished his food....it woke my boyfriend up and he went off on me... i was in the computer room trying to salvage my coupons that my little one spilled milk on...( couponing had become my hobby) .... he sd i needed to get off my *** playing with my coupons and tend to my child.....he goes into the living room and basically babies him into eating....and telling me i need to tend to my house and child....throwing in my face how i slept for 2 days and fed my son pop tarts in the morning.... i told him that i was making an effort today getting up...cooking breakfast..cleaning etc.... he sd well what about the last two days you did nothing!!!... i sd i cant get those days back.....he ranted onto me about the house again (my house isnt dirty or filthy....it is not an immaculate home... but things are clean and in place... he is a crazy perfectionist and feels he is the better parent... housekeeper...etc....he doesnt clean house....i do normally at night....but its not good enough for him.....i cook almost everynight for myself and my kids.... dinners like chicken...spaghetti...porkchops....my kids dont go hungry and are bathed....but this is all overlooked) i feel like a hild looking for approval and acceptance as and equal partner and parent....i see my councelor and i go to therapy.....he says im crazy....and when he pisses me off he says "did you take your meds today" its like he needles me everyday and its wearing on me.... i know this post is like me me me..... but honestly it is about me.....ive talked to him about understanding my condition and mood swings...depression etc.... that even though i am on my meds i can still have those......he says if he ever left he'd take my son away from me... cause the court wouldnt give him to a "crazy person".... i told him i am stable on my meds....and i have an income that my children and i could live comfortably.....anyways how do i get him to understand my condition..ivMY boyfriend doesn't understand my depression.?
I'm sooo sorry you have to go through that. I also suffer from depression I take meds and all, so I know how you feel. And your boyfriend should try to be understanding. It's not something someone can always hep. You need someone whose going to be more understanding and helpful. Him yelling and nagging you all the time isn't going to make you feel better, it'll only make it worse. I haven't been in a 7 year relationship, but if they're not treating you right you need to leave. Or the results can be very bad. Or you could also try sitting down with him and tell him how you feel or even take him to the dr with you.. But if he continues you should leave. And as for him threatening to take your child, you could fight that. How is he capable to take care of the kid if he verbally abuses his depressive mother? You know? Sorry.. I'm not too good at explaining things.. But you deserve better. You'll be in my prayers and if you ever want someone to talk to email me hun!
Oh girl! I know exactally how you feel! I have been diagnosed with depression and have been on medciations for about 7-8 years. I am facing the same siutation, how do I make my boyfriend understand that depression is a real disease and not just "in my head," I can't just turn it on and off.
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MY boyfriend doesn't understand my depression.?he does need to understand, hes just frustrated with the situation. but men need to be trained like kids lol the way he acts towards you will change by the way you act to him and your kids. find ways to relax, and get a schedule going so you can avoid situations that will set him off. i think you should get him to come to a family/ relationships counseller with you. if he doesnt wanna go, explain that your condition affects more then just you, and you wanna change things for him becuase you know hes unhappy,and your unhappy aswell, but you need his backing. hopefully if he realizes that this is for him and the kids, he will go. and then you can maybe get him to see your side. plus, a proffessional might be able to help him understand you dont just snap out of a mental disease.
Some people just refuse to understand.... he doesn't WANT to understand. Can you talk to your doctor about maybe changing your anti depressant? It doesn't seem like it is working well enough.
This sounds like an abusive, and negative dynamic between the 2 of you, talk to your parents about this, and also talk to a therapist, preferably one that has experience with abused women, because worst-case, you need an exit plan, for you and the kids(because you can't leave 'em behind).
Best-case the therapist can give you, and your boyfriend some tools to fix your relationship, but something has to change, because you guys aren't doing a great job at the moment.
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