I am 26 years old female. 1 month ago my boyfriend and I moved to a new city. 2 weeks ago I started a new job.
There is this guy at work name Bob. He is in his 40s and he is one of the supervisors there. While we were all in lunch room everybody was telling me a little about everybody (since i am new) and that is when i found out that Bob has a wife and 4 children from age 7 to 15 years old is the oldest. Bob seemed to be very nice, good and respectful family men.
I was taking a bus for a week and one day Bob (the co-worker) offered to give me a ride since he passes close to my house, on his way home. He was giving me a ride for a week and i knew that next week he could not give me ride anymore since we will not work same hours. It was ok and on our way back we would talk about the city and he was giving me tips on this new city. Everything was good and i was thinking how he is such a nice guy.
Well on Friday our company gave us all coupons to go to one store and get special uniform we all must wear. So that Friday after work was supposed to be my last ride that I would get form Bob,
and while we were riding to go back home he asked me if i would want him to come pick me up the next day (Saturday) and we can go together to the store and get our uniforms. I agreed and he asked me for my cell number and i gave it to him.
The next day (Saturday) he came to pick me up around 10am and we went to the store. We both got our uniforms and started to ride back home.
He never asked me if i had a boyfriend or anything and i did not say anything since i did not really feel like he would care. I figured he is just being a good co-worker and we were talking about work and city.
On our ride back home he was asking me if I knew anybody here in this city. I said that i did not and that i am ok with that, since i dont have a problem getting new friends.
He then asked me : "Can I be your friend?"
Automatically without thinking I said ya sure.
Then he asked me where in the city have i been and if i went to any clubs or bars.
And since i felt a bit weird about his last question, I lied and said : " I have been to one club with my BOYFRIEND but i dont remeber the name" that was the only thing I could think of to say to let him know that i am not interested in him at all without having to be rude.
Then HE said, NOT asked : " WELL THEN I WILL COME TO PICK YOU UP NEXT SATURDAY AND WE CAN GO TO THE MALL TOGETHER SINCE MY WIFE GOES OUT WITH HER FRIENDS AND IM SO LONELY!" then he continued to tell me how that he is not very close to his wife and that is way he is workaholic.Then he said he is not complaining but he is ok with that now.
I did not know what to do. But i dont even know why I said: " OK" I know i should have said no but i have no idea what happened to me, i guess i just was nervous since he is my supervisor.
So on Monday he saw me in the lunch room before work (where everybody sits before work) and said to me that i look very good in my new uniform (we were alone when he said that). I pretended that i did not hear him and went to the bathroom. I totally avoided him, and continued to avoid him for the rest of the week, even just being with him alone anywhere. He acted same way just like nothing happened.
Then on Friday one of the workers there asked me to go get some forms to fill out in office. When i got the forms and started to go back he call my name and said :
"Your caller of your shirt is twisted. Can I fix it for you?!"
I said " No. I got it! " and started to walk away and he called my name again and asked me
"so what time Saturday should i pick you up?"
I said : "Actually I am busy cause i got to go get my driving licence so i cant." In that same moment one gurl passed by and started to ask me about how come i dont have my licence and i started to walk with her and he just left.
I hour later his shift finished and he went home, and since he finishes 2 hours before me i did not see him since then.
NOW FINALLY MY QUESTION IS
WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!
I really love and NEED this job. Me and my bf are so broke since we spent all the money we had saved on furniture, deposits, rent, hotels and food. I dont know what to do and how to act.
I dont wanna make any trouble and i do not feel comfortable to talk to anybody at work about this since everybody just loves him and is very close to him. I feel like it's a bit my own falult and that's why i cant tell my bf.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
HELP ME
PS. please do not leave just mean coments since that is really not gonna help me or do anything for you. PleaseWork problem... Please help me !!!?
it's COLLAR. your shirt has a COLLAR.
it looks like blowing him then screwing him in the company bathroom might be the only way out.
I think you should continue to be friendly up to a point but no further. Slowly get more distant from him in a nice way. I think if you do this nice and easy you can get yourself removed from the spot you are in. Maybe he's just lonely and his overly friendliness is in innocence. If he continues to be more friendly than you think appropriate and feel comfortable with, you can thank him for being so helpful to you as a newcomer and tell him you and your boyfriend are all settled in now. Just stop taking rides from him and agreeing to go places.Work problem... Please help me !!!?
I think you need to stop accepting rides from Bob and just have a pleasant, professional work relatiohship with him from here on.
If he asks why just let him know you would prefer to remain on a professional level only. If he pushes, just tell him you are really looking forward to meeting his wife and children sometime soon.
He'll get the hint.
If your company has a Human Resources Dept, you need to report him for sexual harassment immediately!
He is making you feel very uncomfortable and creating a hostile work environment for you.
Invite him over for dinner during a Saturday evening be sure your bf is there too and dine together. Do not tell him bf will be there. This event should establish the necessary boundaries you need.
It's not your fault. You could have been clearer that you weren't comfortable with the situation sooner, but it's not too late. Document what's already happened in case you need it, then if Bob invites you out again, tell him you're sorry, but you've given it a lot of thought and you're just not comfortable socializing with a supervisor to that extent. If he's really a nice guy, he'll get the hint and leave you alone. If not, you can take it to HR.
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